irenegro: (muguet)



Суть двухсот страниц в одном предложении: "College has no monopoly on the ingredients for professional success or for a life well lived".

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irenegro: (gif)
"Сила молитвы - всемогущая. Если Б-г уже решил: этому человеку я даю столько, то как мы можем изменить его решение? Если человек поступал не так, и поэтому он должен получить наказание, то как молитва может это изменить?

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irenegro: (gif)
Из проповеди отца Дмитрия Смирнова:

"Главное дело на земле – это не сколько зарабатывать, не какой автомобиль, не в каком районе Московской области дача. Это всё для Б-га не играет роли. А главное – что из себя представляют твои дети.

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parentology

Apr. 5th, 2014 10:11 am
irenegro: (irenegro)
Из книги Parentology: Everything You Wanted to Know about the Science of Raising Children but Were Too Exhausted to Ask by Dalton Conley

Day care vs. home mom: which kids test better?

A. My reading of the “mommy wars” literature is that the secret variable that resolves many of the contradictory studies is social class. Namely, rather than it being good or bad per se for a mother to stay home with her young children, the effect seemed to depend on the socioeconomic status of the mother herself. The more time that highly educated mothers were with their kids—as opposed to sending them to day care—the better those children did on cognitive tests. But for less educated mothers, kids did better when they went off to preschool and other structured activities.Read more... )

Parentology - as I call this approach to raising kids - involves three skills: first, knowing how to read a scientific study; second, experimenting on your kids by deploying that research; and third, involving your kids in the process, both by talking to them about the results and by revising your hypotheses when necessary to adapt the “treatment” to the unique circumstances of your kids. Kids raised this way won’t necessarily end up with 4.0 GPAs, but they will be inquisitive, creative seekers of truth. And hopefully, they won’t call child services on you either.
irenegro: (irenegro)
"Я стояла около эскалатора и вдруг заметила молодую маму, которая пыталась заставить свою маленькую дочку встать на движущиеся ступени. Ребенок, которому на вид было года четыре, отставал, цеплялся за перила и рыдал: «Нет, нет, мама, я боюсь!» Мать, руки которой были полны свертков, продолжала дергать ребенка «Не будь такой маленькой, – говорила она ей, – мне стыдно за тебя. Здесь нет ничего страшного».
В этот момент высокий седой мужчина, который ждал, чтобы пройти на эскалатор, наклонился к маленькой девочке и сказал:

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irenegro: (irenegro)
Еще кое-что из Эды Ле Шан, в продолжение этого поста.

Под катом: про переходный возраст, бунт, коробки с замками и еду:

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irenegro: (irenegro)
Очень полезная для родителей книжка, не пренебрегайте.

Параллельно с чтением выношу кое-что интересное:

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irenegro: (baby)
ta03


Сегодня мой любимый диафильм "Три апельсина" внезапно обнаружился аж в трех видах:
в озвученном варианте - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgJa-S1_A-w
в pdf - http://www.hobobo.ru/media/diafilm/item/tri-apel-sina
и онлайн-просмотр - http://allforchildren.ru/diafilm/diafilm216.php
irenegro: (Default)
Develop a Routine

The most important productivity tip I could possibly give you is to develop a routine. Tasks take twice as long when you have to think about them. So don’t think. I have a morning routine that I follow every single morning. It’s automatic now. I get up, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, make the bed, make breakfast, and wake the kids.

In the evening, I pick up the clutter that’s found it’s way into the living room, make sure the kitchen is clean, and then I allow myself to take a shower and relax. By following these two routines, I keep my house in decent shape.

For some great ideas on routines that work, check out FlyLady.net. I borrowed some of her routines and tweaked them until they worked for my home.Read more... )
Про календарь понравилось, а распланировать меню я тоже сейчас пытаюсь своими силами. Возможно, это будет удобно.
irenegro: (african)
Не со всем согласна, но это интересно.

"A few of my favorite specific suggestions:
1. While parents often lose sleep for years, getting kids to sleep through the night is not hard. Real experiments confirm that the Ferber method — let your baby cry in his crib for 10 minutes, briefly comfort him, leave, repeat — works wonders.
2. Improving kids’ behavior isn’t hard either. Experiments confirm that clear, consistent, mild discipline — like putting kids in the “Naughty Corner” — works even on difficult kids. The problem is that if parents stop imposing discipline, kids soon revert to their old tricks.
3. If neither you nor your child enjoys an extracurricular activity, stop doing it. If the alternative is a little more TV or Xbox, that’s O.K.
4. Supervise less. Lenore Skenazy’s Free-Range Kids makes the case better than I ever could.
...
A few other tips for alleviating secondhand stress:
Avoid activities that sound good, but end up feeling like a chore. If you’re tired of soccer, and your kids aren’t dying to play, it’s O.K. to just play casually — or quit.
Make family vacations less ambitious — and don’t be afraid to leave your kids behind with willing grandparents. The “staycation” — taking time off to enjoy local activities — is undervalued.
If you’ve got more money than time, what are you saving it for? Spending a little money on a babysitter, maid, or gardener doesn’t just give you precious extra hours; it makes it easier to laugh at your kids’ funny questions instead of snapping at them.
...
The heart of my argument: There’s a close connection between how you raise your kids, and how many kids are best for you to have. Most people think that raising decent kids requires decades of unpleasant sacrifices. No wonder they’re tempted to keep their families small — or remain childless. The good news of twin and adoption research is that sacrifice is overrated. Parents are “overcharging” themselves for their kids. And what do economics and common sense tell you to do when prices turn out to be lower than you thought? Buy more. Stock up. Tell your friends."
irenegro: (african)
Не со всем согласна, но это интересно.

"A few of my favorite specific suggestions:
1. While parents often lose sleep for years, getting kids to sleep through the night is not hard. Real experiments confirm that the Ferber method — let your baby cry in his crib for 10 minutes, briefly comfort him, leave, repeat — works wonders.
2. Improving kids’ behavior isn’t hard either. Experiments confirm that clear, consistent, mild discipline — like putting kids in the “Naughty Corner” — works even on difficult kids. The problem is that if parents stop imposing discipline, kids soon revert to their old tricks.
3. If neither you nor your child enjoys an extracurricular activity, stop doing it. If the alternative is a little more TV or Xbox, that’s O.K.
4. Supervise less. Lenore Skenazy’s Free-Range Kids makes the case better than I ever could.
...
A few other tips for alleviating secondhand stress:
Avoid activities that sound good, but end up feeling like a chore. If you’re tired of soccer, and your kids aren’t dying to play, it’s O.K. to just play casually — or quit.
Make family vacations less ambitious — and don’t be afraid to leave your kids behind with willing grandparents. The “staycation” — taking time off to enjoy local activities — is undervalued.
If you’ve got more money than time, what are you saving it for? Spending a little money on a babysitter, maid, or gardener doesn’t just give you precious extra hours; it makes it easier to laugh at your kids’ funny questions instead of snapping at them.
...
The heart of my argument: There’s a close connection between how you raise your kids, and how many kids are best for you to have. Most people think that raising decent kids requires decades of unpleasant sacrifices. No wonder they’re tempted to keep their families small — or remain childless. The good news of twin and adoption research is that sacrifice is overrated. Parents are “overcharging” themselves for their kids. And what do economics and common sense tell you to do when prices turn out to be lower than you thought? Buy more. Stock up. Tell your friends."
irenegro: (Default)
Every child deserves one person who’s irrationally crazy about them!

Having interviewed and treated hundreds of women who were motherless daughters in the emotional sense, I know we cannot minimize the pain. Treatment and recovery are not possible if we do. It is difficult for women to recognize this themselves and embrace healing. In a society where we get slapped down or disapproved of for even mentioning such, how can daughters of narcissistic mothers gain their footing? Who supports them? Good girls don't talk bad about their mothers, right? Daughters tell me daily how they can't talk about this with friends or family. They report that even their therapists don't understand.

We all can agree that parenting is an overwhelming task and there is no handbook. But, we can learn better ways. A part of my passion is to open the discussion for mothers and daughters everywhere. Not to blame mothers. Not to blame daughters. But, by using a point of connection and a common language, the process of healing can begin.
• So, in my office when Jane tells me that at her wedding and in a quiet moment, she heard her mother's voice, "I'll give them 2 years!"
• Or Jennifer, at age 8, buys a purse for her mom by skipping school lunches and then mom throws it across the floor and calls her a thief.
• Or, Samantha's mother rips her clothes out of the closet in a jealous rage because she wears a size 4 and screams "who do you think you are?"
• Or Jeri, an artistic child, wins an art award and a scholarship to take art classes. Her mother is too inconvenienced to drive her there.
irenegro: (Default)
Every child deserves one person who’s irrationally crazy about them!

Having interviewed and treated hundreds of women who were motherless daughters in the emotional sense, I know we cannot minimize the pain. Treatment and recovery are not possible if we do. It is difficult for women to recognize this themselves and embrace healing. In a society where we get slapped down or disapproved of for even mentioning such, how can daughters of narcissistic mothers gain their footing? Who supports them? Good girls don't talk bad about their mothers, right? Daughters tell me daily how they can't talk about this with friends or family. They report that even their therapists don't understand.

We all can agree that parenting is an overwhelming task and there is no handbook. But, we can learn better ways. A part of my passion is to open the discussion for mothers and daughters everywhere. Not to blame mothers. Not to blame daughters. But, by using a point of connection and a common language, the process of healing can begin.
• So, in my office when Jane tells me that at her wedding and in a quiet moment, she heard her mother's voice, "I'll give them 2 years!"
• Or Jennifer, at age 8, buys a purse for her mom by skipping school lunches and then mom throws it across the floor and calls her a thief.
• Or, Samantha's mother rips her clothes out of the closet in a jealous rage because she wears a size 4 and screams "who do you think you are?"
• Or Jeri, an artistic child, wins an art award and a scholarship to take art classes. Her mother is too inconvenienced to drive her there.

August 2015

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